“If you define your personality as creative, it only means you understand what is perceived to be creative by the world at large, so you’re really just following a rote creative template. That’s the opposite of creativity. Everybody is wrong about everything, just about all the time. But ANYWAY…” – Chuck Klosterman

Perhaps idol is a strong word, but then again, if those who sing on FOX three nights a week are considered idols, maybe it’s not all that strong. Likely influence is a better term, but influence doesn’t seem to roll off the tongue the way idol does. Idol – A person or thing that is greatly admired, loved, or revered. Well, I do admire Chuck Klosterman, I do revere him, I don’t know if I’d say love – I don’t think he’d like that much. However, Klosterman will always be one of my main sources of inspiration, one of the writers who helped push me into this uncertain terrain that is journalism.

Klosterman’s style is one that I try to incorporate into feature writing whenever the opportunity presents itself. His ability to paint pictures through his words, to establish connections between objects that many could see no relation whatsoever, and his aptitude in incorporating himself and his thoughts into the story are unmatched. I’ve spent countless days (weeks, months) writing random essays that attempt to make sense of the world which we are living in the same way Klosterman does, but after being thrown into the traditional newswriting mix, I haven’t experimented in years. Not since a summer spent living with my grandmother in southeast Ottawa where I worked ten to twelve hour days doing nothing but laying interlocking stone and sod, when coming home to write about the culture that surrounded me was what I looked forward to at the end of each and every day – along with my Grandma’s fantastic cooking, of course – have I picked up the pen in such a way. Yet, the desire returns every time I read a piece of his.

That is why tonight I present you with a selected reading of his, from Chuck Klosterman IV.

Please enjoy, McDiculous.